Rub a dub dub Mione in a tub
by Monkeystarz
Summary: What would you do if a strange person ends up inside a bath tub with you, and touches your soap? Your preciouse CLEAN soap? How dare he. Wait Why the heck is he even in the tub with meHermiones thoughts. RR Ch.6 up!
1. Lavender Soap

* * *

A/N: I thought of this and found it so cute ; its going to be a long one-shot cause I seem to be better at those ;. BTW my other stories are like. On hold if you can't tell, im trying very hard to get through to them but my head just cant think of what to do next! **Grumbles**

Chapter one: Jasmine Scented soap.

She'd been top of the class. Her tests flawless her spells like her tests. She wasn't a model but she was lovely. She had a certain charm that could make almost everyone fall in love with her.

Not to mention she was the famous Harry potter's best friend, which had its advantages at times.

Through her seven years at Hogwarts she was a prefect, head girl, and 'Valedictorian" as the mothers would call it, in other words she was the tops of her class. And barely after three weeks of graduation she was rushed into The Ministry of Magic. Where she worked for two years as a high-ranking manager of magical creature abuse.

Her face was in the newspapers almost as much as Mr. Potter was. Even though she wasn't as popular as her male counter parts she was still well known as the only female member of the golden trio. Harry and Ron trained diligently as aurors in an undisclosed place.

She was practically the presses only tie to the golden boys. Then one day, her face stopped showing up. She stopped coming to work. Owls never fluttered to the lonely red headed and messy haired boys. Her smile was gone. Her hair her job was even dismissed.

Hermione Granger had simply disappeared from the wizarding world. So, gradually like most famous people do, she was forgotten.

And that's how it was suppose to be

* * *

. 

Harry Potter graduated with top marks. Him and Ron ruled the school, and the threat of the dark lord seemed to bother the public very little now that Harry was around again.

Ron and Harry had grown even closer during their years of training, and they never forgot their missing Hermione. They worried for some time until Dumbldore had to take them and explain the situation. Reluctantly they had to agree to what was said.

Hermione was better off lost.

* * *

Harmony Garnet held her robe tightly around her thin but short body. She let the water run a bit more before she added the strawberry scented bubbles. She sighed contently as the aroma filled her nose. Yes this is what she needed after a long day of crying children and disgruntled parents claiming to have the sickest child of all.

Harmony happened to be an in demand pediatric, the best in the country and even perhaps the world. She seemed to touch the children and their wounds would flitter away, or the pain atleast. She was very talented and brilliant and kind. But most of all, she was lonely.

Everyday after work she would come home to an empty house, well empty except for her rather strange cat. She'd walk through the door, take her shoes of before she stepped on the carpet and walk over to the closet and place her purse on a rack (labeled 'Purses' of course).

Next on Harmony's daily routine was to take her shoes to her bedroom closet, which was exactly 42 paces down the hall. Then, after neatly putting down her heels in the proper place, she'd walk over to the bathroom (10 paces form the closet 38 from the front door) and wash her hands with Dove soap.

Then she'd go to the kitchen and get a lovely chilled bowl out of the fridge and put her spotless white apron on. Tying it correctly and making the tails of the bow even she'd take out lettuce, tomatoes, celery, and croutons (homemade), then slice of the vegetables and mix them together.

With her fresh salad in tow and a lovely book she would lounge on the couch (in a proper position) and sit there and eat and read.

That was Miss. Garnet's daily routine. Then every other day she would take a precious half hour off her schedule and take a long hot soothing bath.

Which is what brings us to where we are now.

She slipped the robe off her shoulders and put one foot in after the other. Then slid into the hot water with a satisfied sigh. Next to her she lifted a remote control and clicked a button and classical music began to play.

Her thoughts lingered.

"_Hmm... Justin Trey sure had a rather high fever today.. Perhaps I should of given him a stronger prescription... I do wish I had...."_

"_Katy sure did look better from the last time I saw her.... She's getting used to those crutches! Perhaps I should give her a lollipop next time....... She is such a cute little strong girl!"_

"_Her dad isn't so bad either. In fact he's got the build of Hercules and I sure as heck wouldn't mind giving him daily check up-WOAH! Patients father. Harmony get your head checked you useless git!"_

"_When did I start saying git? I never have.... Then why...."_

"What does git mean anyway?" she asked outoud.

"I think its sort of like prat, but I might be wrong of course..."

"What in heavens name is Prat?!"

"Something similar to brat I suppose... except with a slightly different meaning"

"Oh yes I should of known that. Could you pass me the soap I think its to the le-"She blinked realizing she had been talking out loud. And SOMEONE else had been answering her eyes snapped open to meet those of a jade color and she blinked rapidly.

"Who in gods name are you?!?!"

"I could ask you the same but I know who you are."

"How in gods name do you know me? If you do then what's my name?!"

"Hermione Granger."

"It is not!"

"Oh yes I forgot, excuse its Miss. Harmony Garnet. Lovely name.. You should be lucky you weren't named "Lemon Drop" Dumbldore would of got a kick out of that...."

"Excuse me but who are you and who is this Dumbldore and what on earth does this Dumbldore have to do with my name?!"

"Well he named you of course, and im your best friend."

"My.. best.. Fire-"Reality hit her.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE BATHTUB WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Her scream echoed through the house and the man winced. Then a lop-sided grin appeared on his face.

"Am I?"

"YES FUCKING YES!!!"

"Weird way to use cuss words if I do say so myself Miss. Garnet you don't seem like a girl who curses....you seem too dignified to do such....."

She was now slightly ticked and took a lovely shampoo bottle and smashed it in a dignified away across his messy black head.

He knew that was coming. but let her hit him anyway. Atleast that's what he said to himself. ((Men are so prideful.)) "Oy! Ok well you see, I haven't even glanced at anything but your face and now that you mention it I am a tad bit wet...oh and heres the soap you asked me to hand you earlier"

He saw her glare.

_Oh shit._

Her eyes seemed to want to kill him.

_Oh crap._

Her lovely white hand flew to the air, causing bubbles to soar.

Oh dear.. This isn't going to end to pretty I kno- 

_**SLAP!**_

_Ouch._

"HOW DARE YOU EVEN HACE THE SLIGHTEST NERVE TO EVEN TOUCH MY SOAP! MY SOAP IS NOW CONTAMINATED!!!!!"

He starred at her like she had green hair.

"WELL?!"

"Your telling me the reason you slapped me was because I touched your soap?" His voice was calm and he was trying hard to hide his amusement.

"YES! SOAP IS WHAT-"she lowered her pitch "helps me keep clean. Only I can touch my soap with a clean rag, which by the way was washed in detergent."

"Oh my gosh. You've become completely insane. Don't get me wrong Mione' you were insane before but this is just madness" He started to laugh and decided it best to get out of the tub as fast as he could.

She boiled again "WHO ARE YOU!"

"Why im Mr. Harry Potter." He said flatly as he escorted himself to her living room.

She blinked at his retreating back and looked at the soap in her hand which she he had started to rub all over her.

"Oh dear... it's the lavender scented one...it won't match the strawberry bubbles" a slight pout crossed her features as her schedule was thrown off. She then decided there were more important things to do. So she quickly finished her bathing and jumped out of her nice hot tub... perfect temperature.. and pulled a fuzzy red robe over her and slipped on matching slippers, wrapped her head in a matching towel, and then strided into then living room to get a better look at her company.

* * *

"So Ron where is Harry today?"

Ron shifted uncomfortably. "Umm-err.. Well you see Professor.. He erm-"He paused not very sure of what to say to keep Harry out of trouble....

"Visiting a certain muggle perhaps?" Dumbldore said lightly as he slipped a peppermint into his mouth a knowing gleam in his eye.

Ron blinked; he knew he couldn't fool the Great elderly wizard before him. "Yes sir.... I mean. He hasn't seen her in years.. he does miss her.. I do as well but.." His ears turned red "I think Harry has a different view then me...."

"Indeed Mr. Weasly I believe your correct in your assumption, well its very good. We'll need Miss. Grangers assistance in the up coming battle soon. Her healing abilities are very unique. She has become rather good at her new job." Ron nodded and the subject subtly changed to peppermints and how dandy they tasted.....

* * *

Harry sat in the very clean room. His eyes were wide as he noticed she didn't have a television. What sane person didn't have a television? WIZARDS even had televisions! But no, not miss neat and tidy. Her carpet was spotless everything was neatly labeled; even the cats litter box was labeled!

What was even worse was the fact that all the food in the fridge was.. was...

It hurt to think of the word.

Healthy.

It was all fricken Veggies and Fruits! This girl must be in a perfect healthy state!

She jogged in the mornings before work as well. How did he know this? Well her schedule was taped to the fridge, the wall, and the bookshelf. The first bookshelf, she had 4. Her own mini library.

Harry smiled. Atleast she hasn't changed that much. Sure she might not know who I am and call the police on me, and sure she's somewhat became an intolerable neat freak. She still read books, though. She still had an amazing figure and angelic face, and she still was brilliant. Harry sighed contently as he thought of the girl he'd fallen in love with. He had been so happy to see her he had just watched her for a while.

Her eyebrows still knitted, in an attractive way, as she thought. He chuckled softly, he was a fool, but in a blissful state.

She walked in, in absolute perfect posture and sat on the chair across from the coach. He sat down as well and smiled at her.

"So who are you? Why are you in my house, and how in heaven and earth did you get in my bathtub without me knowing?!"

He decided not to take the long route and dived in "I all ready told you im Harry Potter, and im here because I wanted to visit my best friend Hermione Granger." His smile enlarged at the sight of her puzzled face and added in quickly "Which happens to be you.."

"But im not-"

"Im not done. Don't interrupt its rude" She glared at him but let him continue, "And I apparated into your bath tub. Simple as that, I meant to apparate into your room, but my mind wondered...."

She starred at him "Are you an escaped convict? Are you mentally unstable?"

HE laughed. "Perhaps the second one is the closest. But no. Your Hermione Granger, you attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you were head girl and prefect and you got top marks. In a few weeks you were hired for a job in the ministry and were very faithful to your friend, me and Ron."

"Your nuts. Get out of my house."

"You must listen. You're a Witch Hermione-Harmony. How do you think you heal the children so well? You're a very talented witch Harmony. You even have the ability to do some magic without a wand, your healing for instance. We need you back! The Dark Lord is rising and we need your talent Hermione you must understand!"

"My name is Harmony. Harmony Garnet. Witches are for fairytales, and your defiantly not a princess!" she took a breath, and was slightly confused by the hurt look on his face. "Now please, get out of my house!"

"Your Hermione! Hermione Granger! Don't you remember anything?!" he groaned, how could Dumbldore had done this to her! Even if it was for her own safety....He sighed, "You don't even remember me..." he ran his hands in his unruly hair his fingers tangling in his locks.

"I'm sorry but no.," she said rather stiffly.

"This isn't going very well,..." he mumbled to himself, then an idea hit him and he grinned. "Harmony. Do you have an attic by chance?"

"Yes-"she said suspiciously "Why do you ask?"

"Could I possibly go through it...?"

She shrugged "There really nothing in it.... I've never even been up there, that I remember..."

He jumped to his feet "Show me!" and as an after thought he added, "Please."

She lifted an eyebrow and cautiously stood up "Fine then if it will humor you, follow me" She walked to the hall and stopped looking up she tugged on a string, which made a ladder spiral down. She stepped aside and crossed her hands over her chest.

"Thanks!" he rushed up stairs and blinked in surprise, it was a complete mess! Apparently she'd never been up here...HE rummaged through the boxes for a couple of minutes and his eyes lit up as he found what he was looking for. He tugged the box and through it down.

"OUCH!" She yelped as a box came flying at her head nearly hitting her head but instead slamming on her foot. "Assaulting me with my own storage items! That's low."

He laughed good heartedly and walked down the ladder kneeling next to thaw box while Harmony/Hermione was looking at her injured body part.

"That really hurt you know,..." she mumbled as she rubbed her swelling foot.

"Yes yes, do you have any scissors?"

"You're a wizard right? You should be able to open it..."

He glared at her "Scissors would be faster."

"Use your magic, wizard-boy."

HE sighed and withdrew his wand and mumbled a spell and the box opened "Happy?"

She stared "How did you do that?"

"Magic."

"Liar."

"Nope."

"Liar."

He sighed and rolled his eyes. : Can't even believe what you see with your own eyes? My my... that is very sad indeed..."

"Watch it buster! I can have you arrested for many different things." She pointed to her foot "Assault as one."

"Get over it! You're a healer simply touch your stupid foot!"

He rummaged in the box and brought out an old scarf. "Touch this it might bring back memories."

She looked at it hesitantly then drew nearer to the box and gently took the fabric from him. "Its so warm.. Even though it was in that cold attic..."

"It has a spell on it. You casted it infact, on all our scarves. That won us 50 points for Gryffendor because of our creative abilities to stay warm when it's freezing. You were very proud."

She looked at him with wide eyes, a strange feeling clung to her heart, was what he was saying true?

Next he withdrew a rather large book. She gasped softly and he laughed. "This was one of your best friends. "Hogwarts a History." I suggest you read it again. Come now hold it see what happens" He passed the book to her and watched as a wide range of emotions crossed her face, mostly confusion.

"This... is so weird." She said in a dazed voice "I feel.. Slightly.. I think.. I think I somewhat believe you. "She looked at him with wide Hershey's eyes.

He could see the fear in her eyes and decided this was enough for one night. "Ill tell you some more stuff tomorrow. You should get some rest."

She stood up shakily and nodded her head and walked down the hall to her room before she closed the door she said softly "Hermione...."

Harry grinned. "Im making progress!" He felt like the happiest person alive, or dead for that matter. She was remembering things! Oh god thank you...

Now to check in with Dumbldore.

* * *

"Nice to see you Harry."

He looked at his old professor and smiled

"How'd it go?"

"It went well.. She is confused right now.. But I think im breaking through at first I was so scared she wouldn't even take me serious..."

"Don't get too excited yet.. But I do believe were making quick progress, which is good. The Dark Lord is getting stronger quickly."

Harry's' expression turned cold. "I know." He turned away, he had been so happy, now Dubledore's had to bring up this.

"You know.. what will happen of course?"

His jaw clenched. "Im not an idiot."

"I know very well that you're far from idiocy, but many of the most brilliant minds, make the most devastating mistakes."

"I know.." he whispered softly thinking of how he had made many a mistake in the past. "I know all to well.."

"Perhaps its time for you to get some rest. You've had a very eventful day, and I predict tomorrow will turn out as rewarding as this, and you wouldn't want to fall asleep now would you?"

He yawned and nodded his head "Im going to sleep on her couch."

Dumbldore winked "Remember to clean up after yourself so you don't ruin her routine."

Harry laughed and waved as he apparated back to her home.

* * *

He walked silently into her room and stared at her sleeping form for a while he had missed her so much.

She said something softly and he had the fleeting feeling that she had said his name. His spirits rose and he turned around determined to get some rest.

A/N Ok so it's not a one-shot anymore, but mind you I might not update for a while : wow! Nine pages o-o oh wait. ten

o-o


	2. Of Hermits and Wizards chess

**A/N: I suppose you all who love me should be lucky im in such a creative mood this winter break  its almost midnight and I have the sudden urge to just write. - And I so I chose to update this adorable story!**

**Rub a Dub Dub 'Mione in a Tub**

**Chapter 2:Of Hermits and Wizards chess**

* * *

She stretched her arms out and yawned daintily. Looking around her room she smiled brightly. _Indeed, it was a dream!_ She knew it had to be her very clean imagination running off with her again.

She glanced down and shuddered. _I need to make my bed! Dear gosh all mighty! It's a crumpled wreck!_ With that she promptly, yet gracefully, hopped out of bed and in one bug flourish her room was as spotless as it usually was.

She went to her drawer and withdrew her modestly cut jogging shorts and went to the drawer below that and drew out her specifically 'addidas' jogging shirt. After slipping those on along with other needed necessities she went to her sock drawer ( must I tell you that each drawer had a label inside of it?) and slipped on her matching socks.

Then she walked into the kitchen and nearly screamed her head off as the strange demented man of her dreams stood there in all his demented glory.

"Good morning Herm!"

"Dear god! Did you just call me a hermit!" not only was she frightened she was now thoroughly pissed.

The man who she remembered his name to have been Harry seemed to 'sweat drop', peculiar enough. "Oh dear. You thought it was a dream." He collapsed into a chair with his cup of herbal tea firmly in his grasp. "I thought we'd made some progress remember the book?"

"The book?"

"Yes you know the most extraordinary things with the destroyed trees and ink? They actually have 'words' written in them" He chuckled softly to himself. He never thought he'd have to explain a book to one Hermione Granger….

"I know what a book is thank you!" she snapped and was about to turn to her room to retrieve when Harry stopped her.

"I'll get it for you, _Harmony._" And with a flick and a thin piece of wood was withdrawn and a word she placed as Latin based was spoken and her eyes widened, in the time span of three seconds, as the book flew into his arms.

"Bloody hell."

"Didn't we go over how you're not the one to curse Mi'dear?"

She shot him a glare then withdrew the book out of his grasp. "I thought it was my imagination, I mean you cant expect me too.."

"Compared to yesterday your incredibly calm." He smiled at her.

Her knees buckled. _What the- im going crazy._ She, too, slumped into a chair and looked at him expectantly.

"So are the Leprechauns coming to take you away?"

He blinked, puzzled, "What do they have to with anything?"

"Oh, are they visiting Big Foot?"

"Big Foot?"

"And are their little goblins running about hiding under bridges?"

"I believe that was a troll if im not mistaken…"

"Are their Fairies flying around and warlocks cursing trees into singing happy little enchanting songs and making flowers square dance?"

"You're mocking me."

"Took you awhile to catch on. I thought one with all your power and 'magic' might have figured out earlier."

His face went grim. "Listen, you're a witch, and not just any witch…" he trailed off as

He heard the familiar words, that were once spoken to him echo through his head, "You're brilliant and beautiful and incredibly gifted. You're a healer for Marlins sake!"

"As in Arthur?"

"Excuse me?"

"King Arthur…Merlin you know?"

"Oh I see. Actually Arthur was… never mind stop distracting me while I read out your many attributes!"

"Oh fine then. Even if they are not even mine."

"They are! Dammit! Why did he do this to you!" He slammed his herbal teacup on the table and it splashed everywhere. Neither budged as she was contemplating weather she should wash that off right now or wait till his tantrum is over. He was glaring into the stupid healthy tea.

"Why did you have to be the one? Why was Voldemort after you of all people! Damn him! I swear to all that is powerful I will kill him!"

"Voldemort? That sure is a funny name…" She gulped. This man was crazy. A plan started to formulate in her head. "Umm.. If you'll excuse me I have to use the ladies room." She stood of casually and walked ad calmly as she could down the hall and into her room. She then picked up the phone and begin to dial 911 when the phone flew out of her hand.

"You don't believe me? You cant remember anything? Nothing at all?"

Her eyes stared, in a sort of scared way, into his and she felt something click. As it had last night. "I-I don't know.." She lay down on her bed and begin to cry. _Who am I? Dammit! I don't even know who I am anymore.. My life was perfectly fine until he came here and.. Why am I crying?!_

"Hermione.."

"NO! My name is not Hermione! Its Harmony, Harmony Garnet!!!!!"

Harry shook his head and sat down beside her shuddering body. "I'm sorry. You need to remember. You have to. The fate of our world practically lies in your hands."

"I'm not a witch." She said through sobs. "I cant be."

"You are. You're an amazing woman. Everyone agrees."

An idea hit him and he whispered something softly and a paper appeared, dated a couple years back.

"Here read this." He handed it to her and she shakily leaned forward and took now in a sitting position, she read:

_Hermione Granger: Valedictorian._

_We the writers of this article have come to see that the golden trio is in fact; the golden trio. Not only is There Harry and Ron, but Hermione Granger. A top student at school she has been somewhat shoved into the shadows and vaguely referred to in past years, besides being falsely accused by a one Reeta Skeeter, She is now going to be Hogwarts valedictorian and she will also be given an award for top student in all of Hogwarts history. _

_When asked to comment on this she smiled and said "It's the books anyone can make good grades, as I tell Ron and Harry daily. It's just that once in awhile you have to study. Not cram, just study." Then walked off._

_Apparently books have paid of! So read and learn! This young lady might just be the next minister of magic._

Her eyes lit up as she read the article. "That's me,…" she pointed to the picture of the pretty girl smiling and waving.

"You were so proud. Everyone was so proud of you."

"Can that really be me?"

"It is. Hermione, I mean Harmony we need your special abilities to help win a war. A war against evil. A war against the dark. You can help us. You have to only remember your past though."

She slowly traced her fingers over the print of the "Daily Prophet" and she gave it back to Harry her eyes wide.

"Can I do magic then?"

He smiled and dug in his pocket for something and handed her a stick similar to his but different.

"You can do so much more then magic."

Slowly he demonstrated how to flick his wand correctly, and she did it perfectly the first time.

"I knew how to do it."

"Your muscles must still be used to the familiar gesture." He smiled softly. Loving the spark that he saw in her eyes as she repeated the movement over and over.

"I knew you, didn't I?"

"You know me, yes. I've told you before."

"You loved her." She said plainly.

Harry's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed. "She was my best friend, of course I did."

"I mean you really loved her. Did you tell her?"

He shuffled his feet and stood up quickly, "Now on to some simple charms that will probably make your brain come more alive…"

"You loved her more then a friend."

He looked down into her cinnamon orbs and melted, "I never told her."

"That's why you look at me like that? You look at me like im the best thing in the entire world, but then when I say something you freak out. Because you realize its not her."

"Hermione.."

"Its Harmony. My names Harmony.. Atleast for now."

"Are you saying it can change?"

"I'm implying it, yes."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I haven't even decided if you're sane yet."

With a boyish grin he shrugged, "You and the rest of the world."

* * *

Dubledore's eyes twinkled like they never have before ahs he uttered the last words until the man screamed in agony in pain.

"Die now! Yes Die! But please don't leave to many pieces.. The spell only works if all the pieces are still relatively close…" He nodded then looked at the man, whom was now crying he was a pathetic mess.

"I do believe you owe me two acid pops, Mr.Weasly."

"You beat me."

"Was it not to be expected?"

"No one beats me!"

"Well change is rather good…"

"No! No change is bad. Bad as it can be terrible, horrid, and disgraceful. You cheated! You cheated!"

"It was merely a game Ronald…"

"A game? A GAME!!!! THIS IS MY LIFE!" he held the acid pops protectively to him "Mine."

"Dear boy…"

"You beat me at Wizards chess…."

"Do I need to call St. Mungos?"

"My game.. Wizard's chess.. Beat I…."

"Ron?"

"Don't come near me or ill bite you."

Dumbledore withdrew his hand quickly and turned to Faux "He sure has a temper…."

"MINE!"

* * *

**A/N: Oh that was short but I enjoyed it  R/R!**


	3. Livin the Vida Witchcraft

**A/N: I shall start this chappy today and see where it leaves off  I might finish tonight or go on to have it being written tomorrow o-o anyway…..**

Chapter 3: Livin the Vida Witchcraft 

We last left our poor elderly wizard in the clutches of a lunatic Ron, and his teeth. Now, seeing as he once was the boys headmaster, Ron decided to not bite the powerful wizard, though he was sure it would merely upset the man slightly, Ron was not prepared to face this old mans anger. Not to mention he was an old man, and he was always taught to respect his elders (excluding a certain pair of twins.)

So he merely snarled at Dumbledore and ran out of the room crying, and he found his way to the kitchens.

Still clinging to the acid pops mind you.

Now let me explain that it wasn't really the acid pops that urged Ron into his present state, no it was the fact that _HE (_notice the caps underlined-ness and italics, apparently its important that you read those two letters) Ron Weasly had lost at the one thing he was good at, besides quidditch that is. How dare the old man outsmart him at HIS game! It was simply ludicrous!

To say Ron was devastated was a slight understatement; he was crushed under the rock.

Now let us watch him sing and dance to the song that has popped into my head.

"_I am under the rock! The rock is higher then I! Jehovah save me I am under the rock!"_.

Now let us stare again as Ron starts to think about his career choices, and who the heck Jehovah is.

"Well now, my voice isn't to bad….! I could be a muggle, oh what do they call it, umm… a muggle Ricky Martin!"

And so ensues the incessant rambling of a starry-eyes Ricky-Martin wanna be. Must I include the fact that when Ron decided to jump on tables and dance the house-elves scattered to do 'unfinished chores that had been conveniently forgotten'?

I must point out that house elves, never forget to do anything. I mean, _never._

(back to the puzzling Hermione and Harry, or should I say Harmony and Harry)

"..and I actually… went under that with you?"

Harry nodded his head, his eyes intent on her.

"I didn't die when I went under there? I mean how did both me AND you fit under there?"

"Actually im proud to say that I have fit a whole set of first years under here!"

"First years?"

"Uhhh, we'll get to that later." He tugged at his sweater nervously.

"Why so many?"

"Later!" he said in a fake cheerfulness and lifted the cloth over his head and disappeared.

Harmony Garnet lost all sane-ness as she screamed, fear gripping her heart. "It ate you!"

"No it didn't."

"YES IT DID!"

Her screams were now being heard through the neighborhood, but little thought was put to it. She screamed a lot, like when she found that a bird had left a little, surprise on her sparkling window the other day.

"I'm here and alive Herm-Harmony…"

"Your gone!"

Harry smiled to himself this was rather entertaining. But he did rather feel guilty about the stricken look on her face. HE stuck his head out of the cloak and smiled, but it lasted only a second before she started shrieking.

"OH DEAR GOD! YOUR HEAD! ITS ATE EVERYTHING BUT YOUR HEAD!"

"Harmony1 Calm down! Im just sticking my head out of the cloak! Its an invisibility cloak!"

"ITS ALIVE!"

"BE REASONABLE GODDAMMIT!"

"HOW CANI REASONABLE WHEN A FLOATING HEAD IS IN MY LIVING ROOM TALKING TO ME!"

Harry opened his mouth then shut it she did have a point. He stepped out of the cloak and smiled again at her stricken features. "It's a cloak to hide you."

"From what?"

"Most anything" he shrugged nonchalantly, " well besides Dementors" he trailed off and shuddered slightly.

"Dementors?"

"Later on that subject as well."

"Why must everything be held off until later?"

"Why don't we start with some simple charms!"

"You're avoiding the question!"

"You've got the swish and flick down to a draw now lets see if your pronunciation is as good as it once was."

"My pronunciation is perfect thank you."

"Do you know Latin?"

"Vaguely."

"Brilliant!"

"Well, I don't boast about it!"

"Now repeat after me, Wingardium Leviosa."

"Wingardium Levioso."

"No, no Wingardium LaviosA"

"Wingardiums Laviosaos.."

"Dear, dear lets see win-gard-e-um Lev-e-oh-sah"

"Wingardium Leviosa."

"Perfect!"

"Goodness, it's a bit of a tongue twister."

Harry stared at her, his green eyes mirthfully shaking.

"Did I say something bad?"

"No, no its just I've never heard anyone say tongue twister in awhile."

"Oh, well it was the first phrase that came to mind. I could probably of used a more rational word but hey its all right I suppose."

"MEOW!"

Hermione jumped up, and turned around and smiled lovingly at her cat. "Cookie!"

"COOKIE!"

Hermione/Harmony looked at Harry strangely "That is his name."

"Its Crookshanks!"

She laughed softly, which distracted Harry a bit from his conclusion on her new choice of a name for her male cat.

"He's a male cat!"

"I'm very aware of what gender he is. I am a doctor, Mr. Potter was it?"

"Of course its Potter! You should know very well Hermione Granger! I can't believe you named your cat COOKIE!"

"MY NAME IS HARMONY GARNET!"

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!"

"NO YOU SAID HERMIONE!"

"DAMMIT, ITS ALL THE SAME!"

Harmony's eyes blazed as she picked up the nearest thing to her, which happened to be a bookend, and tossed it with a rather good aim at his clueless and scarred head.

"HARMONY IS WHO I AM! YOUR NOT IN LOVE WITH ME YOU DUNCE!"

"DAMMIT THAT HURT!"

"STOP CUSSING!"

"STOP YELLING!"

"STOP BEING STUPID!"

"STOP BEING INFURIATING!"

"STOP USING LARGE WORDS THAT YOU CAN HARDLY COMPREHEND!"

"THAT WAS LOW! I CAN TO SOMPREHEND LARGE WORS MADAM!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

"WHY?"

"IM NOT HER!"

With that she stomped off and slammed her door shut. Harry sighed and lowered himself into her couch.

"Stupid witch."

"I HEARD THAT!"

He groaned, he needed help

(Now back to our beloved Dumbledore.)

"Well Fawkes, I suppose you should bring Harmony here with our Mr. Potter."

Fawkes squawked and slew out a window that appeared in thin air.

"Dear, this is not going to be easy." The wise man stated as he saw his door being thrust open by an alarmingly calm Ron Weasly.

(back to Harry and 'Cookie')

Harry was now stroking the poorly named cat that lay in his lap. His thoughts roamed from his throbbing headache to the disgruntled girl, no woman, in the bedroom down the hall.

Things just weren't going according to plan.

He was suppose to come, sweep her off her feet, tell her that she was a witch, she was suppose to remember and say "Oh Harry why have you waited so long to find me?" and then he'd hug her and they'd go kill the fucking bastard that was the main problem in the first place.

Yet, it didn't seem to be falling into that exact order. To be frank it wasn't falling in any order. His mind was a complete disarray her temper was so tedious and Fawkes had to come and tap at the window.

Wait, backtrack, Fawkes is tapping at the window?

Harry stood up and walked over to the window, a questioning look on his face. "Term- yes?"

"Squawk."

"Ok then."

Harry turned from the window and walked to the door down the hall, turning the knob he walked in to see a fuming Harmony Garnet.

Big surprise?

Not really.

"Have you ever learned to knock?"

"I would of if I'd have been assured you would have opened it."

Harry strided across the room took her hand in his whipped out his wand and apparated, to Dumbledore's office.

Now I know you cant apparate to Hogwarts, but Harry could.

He was an exception to many rules.

(In said office)

"Livin the Vida Loca! She will.. AHHHHH"

Ron jumped into Dumbledore's arms, bridal style as Harry and Harmony landed into the room.

"Harry! HERMIONE!" Ron flung himself into her arms.

Harmony stood there, confused. Why was a red head holding her? Where was she? How did she get here? And most of all was someone singing the Vida Loca?

Harry coughed, as did Dumbledore. Ron turned red and pulled himself away from her. She stood dumbfounded.

"Whoa re you?"

Ron coughed and dug in his pockets withdrawing a piece of candy, "Acid pop?"

Harmony blinked.

"I'll take that as a no. Well its good to see you back Hermione."

"Its Harmony."

"I know my voice is isn't it? I'll give you another demonstration." He coughed

And took his shirt off as he began to sing, "Oops I did it again, I played with you heart got lost in the game, Oh baby baby, oops you think im in love…"

"Oh dear God…"

"Oh dear Merlin…"

"He's not half bad."

All three phrases were said at the same time, Harry and Harmony turned with puzzled expressions on their faces to Dumbledore.

"Not bad? Are you deaf old man!"? Harmony asked in a slightly rude manner.

Ron stopped singing. Harry stood there stricken. She had just called the most powerful wizard in the world an old man, and to his face!

Dumbledore coughed. "Yes well, I'm Albus Dumbledore."

"I'm.."

"Harmony Garnet, lovely name if I do say so myself. If I ever had a daughter I'd of named her that."

Harmony flushed and nodded smiling softly.

Harry and Ron looked at each other, do that's why he named her that. If Harry had had the choice he'd of named her Lily. Ron would of named her Larissa, for some unexplained reason.

"Mr. Dumbledore, might I ask where we are?"

"In my office in Scotland."

"Scotland!" she squeaked. "I was just in London not but two minutes ago!"

"It's a form of magic."

"Oh dear. Your one of them?"

"You mean one of you? Yes, yes im a wizard."

"Well I-" she stopped mid sentence and stared wide eyed at the pictures.

"They're moving."

"Its magic."

"Are they alive?"

"No, no…"

"It's amazing."

Harry stared at her face. She seemed so fascinated so eager to learn, she looked just like the Hermione he remembered and loved.

She walked over and stroked the fur of a cat, it began to purr.

"It feels real."

"Magic, is a powerful thing."

"Magic is pretend. Its form fairy tales."

"Don't you believe in Fairy Tales Ms. Garnet?"

"I'm practical. I believe in healing those who are hurt."

"Another form of magic."

"From what your saying is that everything is magic!"

"Well yes, I am."

She stopped talking and sighed looking around for anything to think about other then the confusing pieces of information she was receiving. "If everything is magic, does that mean cars are?"

"A mechanical amazement. Even magic needs engineering. Most Wizards and Witches need wands to assist them."

Ron gulped looking at her, she seemed so scared, but still she was she. Hermione hadn't changed a bit in her looks. Still pretty, but her demeanor was slightly more closed.

"And pencils?"

"Who would of thought trees could be of so much use."

"I suppose your making a lot of sense."

"Am I?"

"Unfortunately."

"You can possibly believe that you were a witch then?"

"Were? Does that mean im not one?"

Dumbledore turned to Harry and they exchanged a glance. Harry fumbled in his pockets for sometime, withdrawing her wand again and handing it to Dumbledore.

"Do you remember everything Harry has taught you today?"

"Of course."

"Hold this, now put it together the words and the movement."

She gulped, and swished and flicked her wand like a pro immediately saying the well-versed words. "Wingardium Leviosa."

Pensive flew into the air, levitating.

Harmony's eyes widened and she looked at her wand and dropped it.

The Pensive fell soon after, to be caught by a surprised Ron.

"Ouch… I didn't know these things were so heavy"

Harmony stared at the piece of wood on the ground. She'd made something float. "That was amazing…"

"_Leviosa not Leviosah…."_

The memory hit her full blast and she lost her balance and crumbled to the ground.

"I'm a .. I'm a…"

"Hermione?" Harry bent down next to her.

She didn't care that he'd called her by that name.

She didn't care that she had clunked down a silvery magical item on to a red headed singing gay man. Or atleast she presumed to be gay, since he was pretending to be Ricky Martin.

She didn't care that an elderly man was dressed up like some of her patients on Halloween.

Nor did she care that a man who loved her was sitting next to her with a confused expression on his face.

All she cared about was the fact that she was indeed, a witch.

**A/N: Sooooooooooooo what did you think? I'm satisfied with this chapter -**

**I'm very proud of it.**

**Now to those who think I should be a tad bit more serious, it will get a little bit more serious once her mind progresses to the past and comes to join her future. Well when that happens you'll understand!**

**I hope this entertained you as much as it did I to type it!**

**Please Review!**


	4. Smiling Stupidity

**A/N: Ok I have re-read my story and I have had a stroke of good luck! And decided I needed to start this chapter, before I forget (omegas please don't die of shock) the _IDEA_ that I had all by myself! Aren't you proud of me? **

**Thanks for the reviews lovelies! And **next** chapter will most likely be review replies **

**Chapter: _Smiling stupidity_**

Ron was very busy going over the rest of "Living the Vida Loca" in his thoughts whensuddenly all thoughts (no matter how small and utterly useless) were forgotten as he slid to the ground into a lovely state of blackness

Before he fell Dumbledore heard the murmur of "Birdies with silver toothpicks…"

Now, back to the really important stuff here. ((A/N Later on Ron screamed at me, in a –cough- menacing way, or so he puts it, that his thoughts were neither small nor useless, and that excerpt (which indeed is incredibly non-important) was important and that im a horrible author for thinking such! At that point I picked up my finger and held it menacingly over the backspace key.

I loved his cry of terror.))

Harry watched in at first confusion, and then amazement, as Hermione/Harmony seemed to drift into her own world.

This was strange.

As he watched he saw the familiar roll back of her eyes he caught her upper body before she clumped to the ground.

Dumbledore was in the process of going right over to assist Harry when he tripped over Ron's stupid body ((A/N-beams at Ron-)) and fell straight forward his head colliding with the back of the Pensive. He blacked out as well.

Harry groaned. Then looking at Fawkes ((A/N: Thank you teeny-weeny for pointing out my flaw of Fawkes name : ) )) "Are you going to faint as well then? Might as well im going to have to bloody well float all these bodies to the hospital wing why not add a mythical creature in the mix?"

Fawkes, looking offended, chirped madly and promptly went up in fire.

"Grande." He glowered at the little phoenix that now rose from the ashes. "Some friend you are."

He reached down into his pocket and withdrew his wand standing up he levitated Hermione, Ron, and then Dumbledore. While walking over to collect Fawkes in his arms, he led the small procession to the hospital wing and sighed as Madam Promfy (sp?) tucked them each into a respectable bed.

"Well? What happened?"

Harry grimaced; this was going to be a long explanation.

"Well," he pointed to Ron, "He was singing the muggle song "Living the Vida Loca" When she," he pointed to Hermione "Floated a pensive over his, "He pointed to Ron, "Head. Now she, "He pointed to Hermione "Was amazed at seeing herself do such magic, since she had been well taken of her memories of magic, I suppose lost eye contact."

Harry stopped for a breath, trying to avoid her curious and rather confused gaze.

"So the pensive fell on his, " Yet again a point at Ron "Head. Then he blacked out, mumbling out birds and silver toothpicks I believe. Now then" He turned to Hermione, "This one here, after knocking out Ron On accident I might add, went into a state of shock I believe. Then her eyes rolled back and she well you know, blacked out."

Harry took a glance at Harmony/Hermione and then went on with his story.

Turning to Dumbledore he said "Now the Headmaster, was rushing over to us, since Hermione had fainted" He pointed to Hermione, stating his point, "When he tripped over his. "Point to Ron "Body, now after he fell, which I don't know why he did. He is the most amazing wizard next to Merlin, but he tripped. Since he didn't use magic quick enough to regain his balance he hit the edge of the Pensive. Which had knocked out him "Pointed to Ron, " In the first place."

Madam Pomfry stared.

And stared.

"Well?" Harry asked after a few minutes of intolerable silence, and incisive staring. How could she not blink for so long?

"So your telling me Hermione, who has been missing for the past few years, didn't know she could perform a levitation spell? And that she had lost her memory of all things magic?"

Harry massaged his temples and nodded his head dully.

"Right. Well the knots on Albus's head and Mr. Weaslys will be a pain for a while. Ms. Granger will probably wake up soon, but since she was in shock ill be giving her dreamless sleep potion. So be off with you!"

Harry opened his mouth to complain, but due to prior (and very multiple) experiences he knew it was of no use to argue with her. He turned and began to the door when her voice stopped him.

"Harry?"

He turned, "Yes?"

"What is this, 'Living the Vida Loca?'"

Harry groaned.

* * *

Harmony woke up with a jolt, how long had she been asleep?

She looked around, and realized she had no clue where she was.

"Awake are you? Well here drink this." A rather plump woman forced a cup into her hand.

Harmony stared at it. Where was Harry? Who was this woman?

Rather, a subject of more importance, Where was she?

Why was she alone?

She stared into the endless depths of the purple concoction.

"It's not poisoned dear, its actually very tasty. Chocolate Frog flavored."

"Chocolate frog!"

"Yes, now drink!"

"CHOCOLATE FROG!"

"Yes, no need to yell."

"You expect me to drink a-a-a CHOCOLATE FROG!"

"Drink it! you'll feel better" She paused, and added more quietly to herself, "And shut up."

She felt her head spin, not again, she groaned inwardly. She didn't want to black out again. Her eyes became unfocused, and then she felt the cup being forced to her lips.

Then she almost gagged on the, surprisingly scrumptious, tasting liquid, as it slid down her throat.

Within minuets all thoughts had been forgotten as she rifted in to a peaceful sleep.

* * *

Harry was at his apartment, thinking. Which was incredibly amazing, seeing as a man was actually thinking.((A/N: no offence sirs!))

His apartment has two bedrooms, both spacious. He had a bathroom that was also pretty big, and his kitchen was adequate.

Sure, there wasn't any food in the house, but that could be fixed easily.

The big question though was, Could he live with her?

She was an incisive neat freak, and too healthy for her own good. For heavens sake all she ate was practically rabbit food!

Ok so maybe chicken or fish sometimes but hey!

Plus, she didn't have junk food. A major fault if there was one at all.

They could probably strike up a bargain, and it was easier to teach her if they were closer.

Not to mention he did have the invisibility cloak and why she slept he could creep into her room at night and- whoa. Stalker thoughts, be gone now.

It would work. He wouldn't mind having his house clean. No he wouldn't mind at all.

But the cat would have to go, he couldn't stand it.

Sure he had been good friends with my godfather but hey, one can merely tolerate a creature for so long.

He had to go.

Now that everyone had been released form the Medical wing, Harry decided to tell Harmony/Hermione his plan of housing.In his pathetic mind it went as so: "Harmony? Will you live with me?" a big flourish of smiles and gasps while Harmony/Hermione answers with a high squeaky voice, "YES my dearest love!"

This was goign to be fun and easy as pie,pumpkin that is.

* * *

When he told her about it at first, it didn't goas planned...

"YOU WANT ME TO WHAT!"

(perhaps pumpkin wasnt the correct flavor, maybe red cherrys instead, to match her temper)

"Well it is pretty big, and plus im sure it would be comfortable to you and.."

"DO I LOOK LIKE A SEX KITTEN!"

"Is that a trick question, because you do have the body of a…"

His words were cut off by a yelp and a curse as a chair hit his face, "WHAT ARE YOU COME KIND OF WRESTLER!"

"DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME!"

"I CAN BLOODY WELL SCREAM AND CURSE AND RANT AT WHOM EVER I WISH TO AT THE TIME!"

"WELL THEN GO AHEAD! BUT ITS NOT PROPER ETIQUETT!"

"WELL ESCUSE ME MISS RIGHTFULLNESS!"

:"THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD YOU DAFT PRAT!"

Harry's eyes widened and he started to laugh.

Harmony stopped yelling and looked puzzled, "What is it?"

"You said prat." More incisive laughter ensues

Harmony rolled her eyes, "Don't be immature Potter, now I refuse to live with you."

"Why? It's a perfect way for you to recover your memory and do magic, and learn magic! It's brilliant! You'll have your own room and ill be a good boy oh mommy please can I keep you!"

During his sentence he had reverted to the voice of a small child.

"Did I not ask you to act mature?"

"Did you?"

"Yes."

"I rather think you told me to stop being immature. You neither asked or asked me to be mature."

"I believe you have serious problems."

"One being you."

"How quaint."

"Anyway will you? We could have verbal spurs as much as you want!"

"Just because every time I talk to you we end up fighting doesn't mean I enjoy it and search for them anxiously!"

"Oh, well I guess that's just me."

"Your impossible." With that he had stalked off, through a door, then one heard a loud clunk, curse and slamming open of a door.

And out walked Harmony from a closet.

"Ladies don't curse!" Harry called after her as she stalked through the correct door.

Unconsciously Harry heard himself mutter that he hoped she didn't get lost. But all well, if she did, he'd have to find her.

The second attempt at trying to get her to say yes, was much more successful.

It was in the Hogwarts library, surprisingly enough. The set is as said, Hermione sitting in a chair behind a castle of books. And Harry cautiously walking over to her.

Then she looked up and saw the tip of someone's head.

Moving a wall she peered at him. "Yes?"

"PLEASE!"

"Harry it's a library, the key word is silence."

"SAY YES AND ILL BE SILENT!"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"SAY IT!"

"HUSH!"

"Will you to quiet it down?" The librarian said, firmly.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"GET OUT OF HERE HARRY!"

"Her-r-r-r-r-r—r-r-rmiiiiiiioooooonnnneeeeeeee!"

"THAT'S NOT MY NAME!"

"GET OUT!"

Harmony hung her head in shame and grabbed Harry's arm roughly, and half pulled/dragged him out of the library.

"WILL YOU!"

"FINE GOODNESS!"

Harry opened his mouth to scream then stopped. "Really?"

Harmony wouldn't look at him but nodded then stuttered out, "I've been reading about.. about spells and I-I want to perform some of them. I want to use this- this gift I was granted."

"YES!"

"Hush!"

"Yes mam." With that Harry grinned at her then apparated (with special permission form Dumbledore) out of Hogwarts and to Harmony's house.

Now, was time to bring up the Cat problem.

But odds weren't in Harry's favor as Hermione/Harmony caught up Crookshanks in her arms and spun him around cooing softly.

"Aren't you just the pertiest little ball of adorable fluff I've ever seen!"

He meowed in response

As Harry scowled at the creature. HE should be the one being coddled and loved, not IT. Stupid Feline.

"Ummm Harmony, im afraid there is one problem.

She looked up, "What is it?"

"The cat."

A look of stern resolute entered her eyes then.

And he melted under them as she fiercely gazed at him

"The Cat. Is not a problem. Either we both go, or neither."

"But it cant very well-"

"THE CAT GOES!"

"No need to yell Harmony…"

"Must I resort to violence?"

"You wouldn't dare"

"Wouldn't I?"

"Reverse psychology is not going to work."

"Of course not, that would entitle you to have a mind worth 'reversing'"

"….. I don't get it."

"The cat goes."

"The cat goes away."

"Either me and him, or none."

"How about letter C?"

"Which does not consist of me going without the cat."

"Actually your right. C stands for Catnapping."

"I'm sorry to inform you but catnapping is illegal in all wizarding worlds."

"You made that up."

"You weren't suppose to catch that," She faltered slightly.

Harry wore a look of pure triumph, "I did it!"

"Did what? Catnap?"

"No, I will catnap, I haven't done it in the past, I meant I outsmarted you."

"Only because your knowledge of the wizarding world, and the contents of my memory, are a tad bit wider then mine."

"Awh well atleast I had a moment of glory."

"I suppose Hermione must of outsmarted you all the time if you got all excited about that." Harmony let a smile grace her lips, though slightly unwilling to show her amusement at the whole conversation.

"Fine. The cat can come so lets just go!"

"He can?"

"I might change my mind." With that Harry turned around and stalked off in a pout, how dare she have smiled. How dare she have smiled that irresistible Hermione smile.

How dare she.

She doesn't even know her real name, but she knows how to bring a man to his knees.

Certain traits assigned to male and females were so utterly unfair. "Stupid girls."

With that said he continued down the hallway, to who knows where.

During this whole useless rant in his head, Harmony/Hermione clutched to Crookshanks with a sort of dazzled, and confused look.

'Had his eyes always been so, enchanting?' she clung closer to the oversized ginger-haired feline brushing the thought away. 'I must get to packing.'

Then she went in search of her labeling tabs.

* * *

**A/N:I know it wasn't as funny as usual and im super super sorry, but I tried.**

**And I cant have a chapter without a verbal spar between the two completel idiots.**

**Ok I was more speaking of Harry then of out multi-personality disorder character, I use that as a simple tag name. She really doesn't have it.**

**You know what I mean; anyway next chapter will have replies to your lovely reviews! THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**R/R pofavor!**


	5. Magically Mooing moving boxes

A/N: Ok so I was sitting here thinking, I haven't updated in what two weeks? More? Sorry… I will today though! But I beg, and beg, and beg of you to read some of my one-shots! ; Shameless advertising I know, but I mean.. I have a couple stories with no reviews! –Sadness-

**ANYWAY!**

**REVIEW REPLIES:**

**Hermione2567-** I enjoy writing there endless ranting so very much. I'll sit here and laugh at myself while my mother walks by whispers something about insane, and grabs my laundry basket and trips, then storms away. Thank you so much for reviewing!

Tonight, in my dreams, ill make sure to send you a thank you note via, owl

**Zoencomp- **.Welcome back1 Its like the 12th today I hope your vacation went well! And no need to have worried I haven't updated till now, which might not even be posted till next week due to my incredibly busy schedule.

So don't fear.

BTW I can tell you now, reading more slowly doesn't exactly help. It only makes you anxious to get to the end. So read as fast as you want!-beam- Thanks so much for begging me to write more, I love to have people beg ((insert evil laugh/cackle)) but no really thanks for reading this far! I can only hope for another review o-o-major gigantic hint- Love ya

**Yazman- **Well, im glad its official. Because it doesn't count if it isn't official you know. No, not really, just my own little rules I decided to make in the above sentence then after the period I revoke them.

So ahh.

I have confused you now.

Hopefully you wont hate me, because I really need to know what 'perdirlo' means in Spanish. O-o

Since your by your computer waiting let me give you a hint, no matter how many times you press the refresh button, another chapter wont mysteriously appear. I know from pitiful experience.

Thank you so much for reading and getting hooked on phonix!

**Naturewytch**- Songs tend to do that. There evil and in on a huge conspiracy so trust me, it isn't just your mind.

Want to know something funny? My mom is so hard to get up in the morning NOTHING and I mean NOTHING wakes her up except one thing, Ricky Martins "Livin La Vida Loca" Its sad and pathetic and scares me whenever I sleep in her room.

Scary.

Thanks for reading!

**Daddyslilangel1**-Well, tell your brothers there hallucinating and that your not waking them up.

Then hire a magician or psychiatrist to put them back to sleep in a time span of 2.6 minutes.

After that give me a call, and I put a word in for you at the Guinness book of world records.

Who knows, maybe your brothers were having a bad dream, and are grateful that you woke them up. Stay on the positive side! Remember half full. Not empty.

Or shattered for that matter either…

Hahaha.. yeah stupid joke.. Ya get it? I didn't think so…-cough- moving on.

Thank you for reviewing1 It means a lot! - And I hoping the reason why they woke up is because you laughed so loud . I try to keep humor in this story.

I hope its working.

**Old-crow-** Whenever I see the word crow I think of "The Raven". Now that that's out of my system, I had planned to take her recovery slow!

I'm having so much fun writing this fic and re-reading it over and over! I'm actually proud of this fan fiction to say that it might actually be OK! That's a big step in my self-esteem issues.

Enough about me lets talk about you, and your review.

Thank you for your review. And yes. I will update soon o.O'

I'm a mind reader.

**Hollyg20**-Resist the pouty face?

I'm afraid I must admit I can. Since I am the second to best at it! -

Thank you so much! -blushes- I'm glad my story is well liked enough for a triple 'yay' I mean double. I read in too much. All well my hopes are not dashed!

Onward to the next review, yours was lovely btw thankies mucho!

**The-power-of-love- **Well your power of love has made my day!

Thanks for the review, Hun!

**Tamar-Shakira-**I have not updated soon.

I hang my head in shame.

Please don't hate me! For you see. Im updating now! That means you should be like, "Hey! She updated, there is a blade of green grass somewhere!"

An old saying.

Ignore the grass part. –blink-

Thanks!

**BeaumontRulz-** Ha, thanks. Ha, your review made me laugh! Ha, ok I'll stop now. Though I must admit I was having a lot of trouble spelling 'ha'

My sad poor soul, if you cant tells already from my stories I have spelling issues.

I knew I shouldn't of cheated on that one spelling test…..

Thank you so much for your review!

HA.bye

**RiOt-GaL-**Like I said in an above review I just have so much fun writing them! When I do write them I can like, picture it in my head.

Does anyone else do that?

Read the books or fan fictions and like, picture a movie of it in your head? I find it very entertaining and worthwhile. I love to read because of that ; that's my little secret, oh and I love to write because of that also.

Oh my gosh, ok im taking Spanish and I just re-read about what I wrote to you and im like, whoa. I mixed in Spanish with my English words and wow.

STUPID MONKEYSTARZ!

Anyway

Thanks for the lovely review!

Hotaoru-Kimatoe- OH DARLING I MISS YOU TO! –Hugs to death- you had to go and move off! 

But thanks for the review dearie, even though I called you up and made you type it.

I still thought it sincere of you to listen to someone shorter then you.

((The next few are reviews from chapter three))

**Tweeny-weeny**- Lol! Its good to know what other thinks as funny though, so I appreciated that you did that!

Thanks so much for reviewing to me1 I feel honored! -

Aquarius-AKK69- I did, there's a chapter four –sticks tongue out- thanks for the review! 

**Kerie-Kitsune-** -giggles- I'm glad you found it amusing, but don't send me the doctor's bill to your injuries from the fall!

Thanks for reviewing to me!

**Falron-** The beauty of this review is that I have updated, and that actually a lot of people call me lizard. So hello. I am lizard. –Meow-

**Milky-way-bar-** you know WATS funny? I have a white cow named Milky Way o-o. It's also my fav candy bar…….. Anyway! Thanks for the review and I like the direction my lovely car full of this fan fiction is driving as well!

Hopefully there wont be any stop signs in the near future. (This is an example of me trying to use an analogy.))

And to everyone else you rock my slippers and I love you guys so terribly mucho! On with the chapter! But first this is a special embarrassing moment for my first ever flame, I shall copy and paste it, and if anybody can understand this flame pls help me…. When was pokemon mentioned in my Harry Potter story? 

Dracosballduster  
2005-01-31  
ch 1, anonymous

Oh my God. What kind of Dumb ass story is that supposed to be? I'm not whinning for more chapters, I'm whinning for you to fucking stop. You took a whole 3 minutes out of my life I could have put to use. How many Times have I heard about the parents 'not really liking pokemon' and then letting heir children go anyway? And whats with Growlithe for protection? Everyone does that. "Training pokémon, battling others, showing the world how great he was"  
Ever think that thats what every one else does? So Mary Sue. Don't review to peoples story if you can't come up with ideas half ass good as theirs. And God will ppl stop writting Harry Potter? Harry Poter has to be the gayest thing ever since anything! God you suck. Take some advice and start writting in your own language so people don't have to read this crap.

Dear person who wrote this review.

**I would surely value your opinion if it were atleast on the next few things:**

**Understandable**

**Related to the topic on hand**

**Mary sue? MARY SUE? I don't get it…..**

**If you don't enjoy Harry potter then don't READ it. Der- simple thing to understand dearie.**

**Anyway.**

**Good luck in your next flame!**

**Love,**

**Monkeystarz (non- pokemon writer)**

**NOW on with the story…. Th chapter title has nothign to do with the chapter beside 'Mione/Harmony moiving in .**

**Chapter 5: Magically Mooing moving boxes. ((Look at that alliteration skill….))**

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Harry paced his flat. Left to right, right to left, turn here, spin there, twirl, pointed toe, left leg out, shake it all about……. Whoop. Stopping now.

Sighing he fell on his coach and peered, as best to his current position, around the perimeter of his flat. To his and many others utter amazement it was clean. Not nearly as white and prepared as Harmony/Hermione house, but still cleaner then it had ever been in its lifetime.

Needless to say Mr. Potter was very proud of himself.

Almost as proud as he was the day …………well, the day he…….. perhaps that's another story for a higher rating later on.

He coughed and tugged at his collar, she was supposed to be here in an estimated amount of two minutes.

"Ok! Mental check list."

1.floors visible

Check

2.Kitchen sparkling in atleast two areas

Check, well i.5 was close enough.

3.Beds made

Check

4.Anti cat spell placed

Check, but better recheck that just in case it does not work.

5.Dishes cleaned

Check,

6.Dishes put up

Check.

7.Dishes IN the cabinet

Check.

8. Table repaired.

Check

9. Ron kicked out

Triple check, he refused to leave twice.

10.Fly zipped.

Quick look down and check.

11.Bathroom cleaned

Check

12. Bathroom neatly cleaned not Harry Potter cleaned

Reluctant check.

And last but not least

13. Toilet seat down.

No check.

He jumped up and went to place it down when the doorbell rang and he froze.

Then ran to the door in an amazing .23 second.

"Harry." She nodded and smiled at him softly, slightly unwillingly.

And as often he did Harry melted, "Me."

She coughed and turned to something behind her, "I have a few cases that I'd need help getting in and.." she trailed off as she saw Harry's eyes bulge.

"A FEW!"

"Yes a few."

"YOU BROUGHT YOUR WHOLE BLOODY LIBRARY WOMAN!"

"Only half!" she said in a defending tone.

"HALF?"

"And all my clothes and shoes, and my labeling tabs and some cooking ware and a couch…."

"A COUCH?"

"Its incredibly comfy."

" COOING WARE?"

"You're yelling again. Yes, cooking ware I didn't think a bachelor and wizard such as yourself had any so I brought it just to be safe."

"What? Do you think I chew cud?"

"Your behaving like a cow."

"I would like to express how deeply im offended."

"Good, do so and help me with my bags." As an after thought she added a tense "please."

"A couch."

"We've gone over this good god boy were you a parrot in your past life?"

"Could have been I don't very well remember my past life."

"Don't get smart Harry! I know it must hurt you to think and I don't feel like nursing you."

"That was a low blow."

"Not in physical terms so it doesn't hurt to bad."

"Your crazy."

"Mad. Now will you please assist me? Or shall I turn around?"

He opened and shut his mouth, very much resembling a trout and grudgingly went out to lift a few, then as an after thought simply withdrew his wand and lifted them all inside.

"There."

Harmony stood stun. 15 suitcases and they were all neatly put in a room without a hand lifted! Ok well his wand hand but still…how did he do that?

A flashback hit her again, one shed witnessed to before.

"Leviosa" she whispered and Harry's head shot up.

"You said a spell."

"Did I?"

"You said the spell I used to get the suitcases in the room!" His smile was that of a young child's and he literally bounced over to her and grabbed her hands spinning her around. "Oh soon your memory will be back and- oh you'll be your completely true self!"

Her breath caught, her completely true self? What would happen to Harmony if Hermione returned? How would two live inside one body? They were similar but not the same, atleast form what she could tell.

Would I die?

Would I disappear?

Her eyes closed as a headache formed and she began to rub her head.

Harry watched on in one of his trademark-confused gazes, and pondered about what she was thinking. It was a confusing though he could tell by her expressions changing so fast.

Harmony shook her head as a little voice spoke softly,

"_You wont disappear._

_I am you, as you are I. We are born of the same blood and live in the same mind._

_We are each other, do not fret."_

Her eyes opened, wide, "Hermione?"

She said aloud and Harry squinted at her.

"Hermione?" he echoed.

Harmony's eyes rolled back, but she stood calm and she began to speak, in a strange way.

"Harry?"

"Harmony?"

"No."

"Hermione?"

"Yes."

"Hermione! Your back!"

"Im not gone Harry, be sensible. I'm right here in front of you!"

"No… your Harmony.. usually."

"Don't be scared Harry."

"Me? Scarred? How stupid I'm not scared of you."

"Your worried then."

"Can you read my mind or something?"

"I can always read you."

"I miss you 'Mione."

"I'm right here."

"You've changed, now you're her and, well she's great but… more strict."

"We aren't that bad Harry."

"We?"

"I'm her and she is I so we is us."

"This is confusing."

"Indeed.

"Your- I don't get it."

"I have to go now Harry, but the gist of the situation is this, me and here are each other.

Im one half while she is the other. She's my muggle half."

"I think I get it now Herms."

"Harry."

"Yes?"

"I really need to tell you something important…"

"YES?"

"You're yelling again."

Hermione had left, well sort of. "What in heavens name are you staring at?"

She still stood outside the apartment, he was leaning against the doorframe, shaking his head he said nothing and ushered her in.

"Oh wait!"

She ran back and picked up the devil himself, "Couldn't forget Crookshanks now could I?"

She went to walk in and stopped.

"I can't get in."

Harry laughed nervously.

"Why can't I get in Potter?"

"Well the cat, you see, I really don't want him over and."

"LET. ME.IN!"

" The cat cant because im-err- allergic! That's it!"

"Allergic?" her voice took on an innocent tone and he relaxed, "Yes allergic always have been, come to think of it."

"What type of allergic?"

Uh oh. She was a pediatrician. A doctor, and had told a lie, a medical lie.

Stupid git.

"Umm I sneeze?"

"I see."

"A lot."

"Uh huh."

"And medicine, im allergic to medicine as well."

"Oh really?"

"Any type of medicine!"

"Yes." He said meekly.

"Harry Potter are you lying to me?"

" Well- no."

You hesitated."

"I didn't understand the question."

"Let me in before I kill you."

"No violence."

"Now."

He hung his head and waved his hand, she walked in and glared at him. She stopped, and stroked her cat as she began to look around.

"Decently clean."

He smiled, a leap of hope, and nodded, "Thank you!"

"Where am I to sleep?"

"Follow me. "He said gaily as he led her down the hall and to the left was a door.

The door was pretty.

It was a lavender color, and when the room opened it was a lavender pointed room.

She let a smile flit to her lips as she looked around at the soft colored wood of the dressers and bed.

"Oh Harry its lovely."

He shifted his feet and blushed slightly, "I thought you'd like it."

She turned to him her mouth in an 'O' shape, "You did it for me?"

"Yea I thought- well you'd consider staying if you saw it."

"But I already said I would."

"I'd thought you would have changed your mind."

She didn't say anything to that seeing as just a few minutes ago she indeed had.

"Well- a few things before I bring your bags in here, the closet can fit all your clothes, no matter how many you have. The bookshelf, also magically enhanced, can fit all your books, an when you want one just say the title r the color, or just think it and it will come to your hand!"

Her eyes were wide as she stared at him. "Thank you. It was very sweet of you to think of me."

He looked around the room, anywhere but at her. For some strange reason his pulse quickened and he began to ramble, "I also put some magical books in there that might interest you and well sort of added a few cat-haters book as a gag and there is coffee in the kitchen and some bread and the fridge is always stocked and ill help get the couch in here and if you step out of the room for a second ill- well ill enhance the length of the room so it can fit next to that window."

She blinked, taking it all in and gave him another smile as she stepped out, with her cat in tow.

Closing the door she leaned against it and sighed. He had done this all for her, no matter how big a prat he was, he had done this for her.

She wandered to the kitchen and found the coffee, she soon began to search for a mug and found one, and while she sipped it she heard a poof and turned around.

"Hallow Hermione- erm- I mean Harmony!"

She stared at the guy. "Who are you?"

"Fred."

"And im George" She spun around and let out a squeak as she saw an identical man behind her.

"How- did." she stopped and shook her head, "Are you wizards to?"

"Indeed." Fred said nodding his head, George walked next to Fred and grinned.

"Your just as pretty." Fred said

"Not as smart" George added.

"Still short." Fred continued

"Hairs longer." George added in again.

"No sugar in your coffee?" Fred noticed.

"Or cream." George pointed out.

Harmony blinked at them. "I- I like it black some times."

"Racists too." Fred glowered.

"Excuse me?"

"Were only joking" George insisted.

Harry entered the room and stopped when he saw Fred and George. "Hey Fred, George."

George glared, "Why is he always first?"

"Because my name is first in the alphabet."

"So! I have a longer name!"

"And mines easier to say (and spell)"

"Bloody git."

"AS are you dear brother as are you" Fred smiled and turned to Harry.

"If it isn't the bookworm lover."

"Fred." Harry warned.

Harmony set her sup down and rubbed her temples for the second time that day. "This is confusing, Harry who are they?"

George look offended, "We all ready told you!"

"I don't mean your names!"

"These are Ron's elder brother, or atleast two of them." Harry said before a bickering arose.

"Oh! The gay red head?" she inquired in triumph as she remembered who he was.

"GAY?" Three voices said at once.

"Well he was singing a Ricky Martin song I mean, is he not gay?"

"Well I suppose he could be" Fred pondered.

"Hasn't had a girlfriend in a year atleast." George wondered.

"He isn't Gay!" Harry Defended.

"Well I was mistaken then."

"He's merely crazy." Harry said firmly.

"I see."

"Thank you for giving us another reason to tease our brother Hermio-Harmony." George beamed.

"How do you know me?" Harmony asked her head tilted in, Harry's thinking, an adorably cute tilt.

"We just do." Fred said proudly.

"Bright boys we are!" George concluded

"Dashingly handsome as well!" Fred amended.

"In fact if you ever need a date or an escort…" George began, but was immediately cursed at and felt an elbow jab into his rib. He fell to the ground. Why? Were not sure, we think it's due to the pain.

Harry smiled innocently, "I brought your bags to your room, just step over that twin, and you can come to Fred."

Harmony nodded and followed him to her room, and she gasped as she saw all her clothes were neatly in her closet, which was huge! Her books were on a bookshelf, and her couch was next to the bay window.

"Rather girly." Fred said a little shocked.

"It wonderful!" Harmony marveled.

"I hope you didn't mind me unpacking all I did was flick my wand and Walla!"

Fred shook his head and sighed; "Well we just came by to say hi ill grab George and be on my way!" he slipped out of the room.

Harmony stared at Harry for a few moments, "This, has to be, one of the nicest things that anyone has ever done for me."

"Well, I wanted you to be comfortable so.." He trailed off as Harmony stepped closer to him.

He gulped.

She set the cat on her king sized bed, and took another step closer to him.

He stared at her chocolate orbs, and a funny feeling went down his spine.

She was inches away when she stood on her tiptoes and-

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Gave him a soft hug.

"Your not that bad Harry Potter." She said softly in his ear.

And in his mind he thought, either are you Harmony.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

**A/N:** **Yay! Done with that chappy!**

**I know it might have been slightly confusing but hey, 16 pages! By far one of the longest, but only because of my review replies. Those were only like five pages so this was around 11 pages! - **

**Yay me!**

**Please review!**


	6. A time when twos not better then one

A/N: ok im updating because Kiwi asked me to. . and everyone else too Þ

She smiled prettily up at him once more, their eyes locked, as thoughts ran through both their heads. Harry took a small step closer and.

"HARRRYYYYYY WHY DID YOU LEAAAVVEEEEE MEEEEE!"

If there was one ting Ron was exceedingly good at it was his timing.

It happened to constantly bad.

"HARRY WHERE ARE Y- OMGOD MY ROOM IS LAVANDER!" Ron stared in shock as he stood in the doorway.

"WHAT HAD VE YOU DONE TO IT? ITS ITS ITS- absolutely magnificent!"

Harmony and Harry were staring at him with weird expressions on his face, Harry thinking he'd like to throttle Ron about now, and Harmony thinking he really is gay.

Ron rushed to the closet and looked at all the clothes. "Ok. The girly clothes have got to go."

He collapsed on Harmony/Hermione's couch and lounged feeling at home.

"The couch can stay."

Harry scooted over to Ron and glared at him, "Ron think I made it clear that you cant live here anymore. Not only do you have your own flat but a maid!"

Ron gasped, "You-don't-don't love me anymore!"

"There I told you he was a homosexual! I told you!" Harmony said as she pointed at Ron.

Ron jumped up and glowered at Harmony/Hermione. "I am most certainly not! How dare you accuse me of being… of being? GAY!"

"Well I mean come on there was so much evidence and," she gulped as Ron glared at her.

"I AIM NOT GAY AND ILL PROVE IT!" He grabbed her shoulders, and slammed his lips on hers in a very, slightly brutal, kiss.

Harmony blinked eyes wide opened.

WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING!

She tried to pull back but his hand was on the back of her head, and he was 'glued' to her.

"EXPELIARMUS!

Ron suddenly bounced in the air and slammed against the wall.

A fuming Harry held his wand out pointed at where Ron was. "I can't believe you, RON!"

Ron was too busy counting the stars whirling above him to pay attention; he was only trying to prove a point. Geeze

Harry bristled and turned back to Harmony his wand safely back in his pocket, "Are you all right?"

Harmony was to busy staring at the wall to pay attention either.

"Well then." Harry grumbled and folded himself into Indian style on the bed, glowering at the ground.

A shock went through Harmony's body and she lifted her head and regarded Harry with curiosity. It was apparent he was jealous, but was it because Ron kissed Hermione's lips? Or was it because he kissed Harmony's lips?

"What?" Harry said after a few minutes of her staring.

"You puzzle me."

"Glad to be known as a board game."

"No seriously. I can't figure you out. Another man came and kissed the girl who you fight constantly with. Me! Harmony. "

"I am _very _aware of that factor." Harry replied, rather stiffly.

"Me. Harmony Garnet."

There wasn't an answer and she searched his face, which was carefully blank, frustrating and confusing her even more.

"So. What your telling me is that you knocked this gay man over for kissing HARMONY GARNET."

Still no answer.

She sighed and shook her head, deciding that she needed another cup of coffee, and a good mouthwash. The gay man had tasted like vinegar.

Harry watched her back as she left the room and he said very softly, "Yes. I'm aware of that Harmony."

He shook his head and walked over to the twirling Ron.

"Ron?"

"Daaaaaadddy?"

"No Ron its Harry."

"Haaaiiiirrrryyy?"

"No! HARRY!"

"Kiss me!" Ron swung his arms around Harry and kissed him.

Now ensues another incantation and Ron seeing stars.

And the loud screaming of Harry and ten minutes later, he was joined by a now fully scared of himself Ron.

Before the loud scream-fest Harmony was doing some serious thinking.

What was wrong with her? She was cozily in a big armchair upholstered with a micro-fiber material that was rather soft. She leaned her head back, her hands wrapped around a mug that was always warm.

She found it amusing.

A few moments earlier she had even put it in a bucket of ice for a minute and it seemed to be warmer.

Weird.

Yet ever so much fun.

She decided that tomorrow she would explore the amazing home in which she now lived. She placed the mug down on a coffee table that scooted closer to her, and repositioned her so she was hugging her legs to her.

She thought a second about how rudely she was positioned with her feet in his chair, but she had more serious problems to deal with.

Like the small fluttering of her heart.

And the amazing acrobatic acts of her stomach.

And emerald eyes.

So many problems, and where to start?

She could buy him contacts so they were a nasty color, say like purplishgrey.

Ewww.

Ok maybe not so eww, they'd probably look interesting with his features, not that he was handsome (obviously thought in reassurance.)

She could take ant-acid for her stomach; perhaps her cycle was coming up… she shook her head.

Nope, too early.

And she could clip the wings of her ever so troublesome heart.

There, now she had very unrealalistic answers to her problems.

Yay.

Now she could sleep happily, cough.

She was just about to venture upon how unrealalistic the whole situation was when she heard screaming.

With a great sigh she stood up and took her time walking to the room.

Only to see a wide-eyed hysterical Harry and a gaping Gay man, AKA Ron.

"What are you to going on about?"

Harry continued to scream and Ron continued to gape.

She shook her head and walked over to Ron, placing her fingers under his chin she pushed it upward, well that solved the gaping gander.

She now walked over to the screaming Harry.

She tried many different ways to shut him up.

She cupped her hand over his mouth.

She stomped on his toe, only making him scream louder.

She repeatedly told him to shut up.

She threatened to point his own wand at him and ramble on about different incantations that she had no sense about.

Then she just shrugged her shoulders and kissed him soundly.

Or in this case soundlessly

A very uncharacteristic thing for her to do, but the acrobats in her stomach didn't quiet and the wings to her heart regrew and the contacts fell out of his eyes, not that they were ever there..

Well atleast on problem was solved.

Everything was quiet.

Ron stared, gaping again, as Harmony/Hermione kissed Harry.

And Harry kissed Harmony.

And Ron kissed nobody,

And nobody kissed Ron.

His shoulders slumped in defeat as he apparated out of their apartment.

He figured they needed some alone time.

A/n: ok I know it was short and terrible but I tried! I honestly tried and this was the best I could do and oh… im terribly sorry ill try to do better next time! Oh goodness only 6 pages, bad me.

**Forgive me?**


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